Posts

Houston Rain

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Houston weather doesn’t believe in moderation. It either drizzles for 2 minutes or it commits fully and tries to reenact a biblical flood for 48 hours straight. "Do I need a small umbrella or should I start building an ark?” Best policy: carry a compact umbrella, keep your shoes semi-waterproof and emotionally prepare for either a sprinkle or a sequel to Noah’s story.
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MJ

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The new Michael jackson movie was so good, I felt like a 12 year old kid at Neverland ranch💀
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Houston traffic

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I hate traffic like college lesbians hate the joos🧃 😩
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Gasoline

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Gas is so high I’ve been considering becoming a school bus driver… just to run my errands on company time. "Alright kids, quick stop at the bank. Stay seated. This is part of your education."
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Yes you can😋

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Yeah you can.  I love cows, chicken and turkeys and and ill eat them like there's no tomorrow 😋 Yummy lol
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Apple is Cooked🍎

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Will Apple continue to be a great company after Tim Cook leaves or will it be Cooked? 
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brah

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I didn't get anything on my tax return, I owed money instead. Quick someone find me a Jewish accountant 😩
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