For Pete's sake...

If you bring down your Christmas stuff today, you're a serial killer 👀🎄

I love holiday breaks like lesbians love wearing flannels 🤗  #Canceled 😆

Choosing a theme song on my MySpace profile was a very important and crucial decision in my youth. 

I rather eat outside & freeze to death than to eat in the breakroom at work.   No awkward small talk for me thanks 😅 ☃️

I want the headstone on my grave to have the years written backwards so people can think I traveled back in time.  

Waze app takes u thru people's living rooms & cemeteries💀🚘 🚧 It gives no damns lol 

Sunny 99.1 for Xmas music. Sorry Spotify, its a yearly tradition for me 🧓 📻 🎵🎄

Go away Monday. You're just a hater 😩

I agreed to participate in Secret Santa with my loser coworkers 😩🎁  I better get something good.